RvB Sarge's Standing Orders

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thorssoli

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Hey guys,

I need help with something I'm working on...

You've all seen at least a few episodes of Red vs. Blue. What I need is a list of standing orders that Sarge might post on a bulletin board in Blood Gulch Outpost Number One.

Such as:

Order 1: Kill blues.
Order 2: Kill Grif.

Order 23: In the event of Covenant attack, shoot Grif in the foot so his screaming will create a diversion to mask our escape.

Order 994: Do not change the channels on any vehicle radio.​

Any ideas?
 
Ha, can't wait to see what you're working on. My suggestions:
a. A watch rotation with the same guy listed for the whole day or week;
b. Weapons handling safety poster with the classic "Point this end at enemy" arrow;
c. Dress of the day orders, each with a different name/designation but they all look the same;
d. Men Under Punishment order (Grif?!) and a list of muster times (every 1/2 hour or so). A list of useless tasks he must complete. The dress he must be in for each muster or task (none are listed in the order at "c");
e. A security poster (something like the classic "Loose lips sink ships" poster), with the solution being to shoot or strangle the offender.
 
Hey guys,

I need help with something I'm working on...

You've all seen at least a few episodes of Red vs. Blue. What I need is a list of standing orders that Sarge might post on a bulletin board in Blood Gulch Outpost Number One.

Such as:

Order 1: Kill Grif.
Order 2: Kill blues.

Order 23: In the event of Covenant attack, shoot Grif in the foot so his screaming will create a diversion to mask our escape.

Order 994: Do not change the channels on any vehicle radio.​

Any ideas?
fixed your post ^_^
 
1. kill grif

2. dont let simmons get close

3. dont let princess cupcake touch my robot

4. remember to name robot

5. remember to fix lopez voice thingy

6. kill blues

7. polish shotgun

8. in case of immediant attack grif and lopez will be used as a distraction while donut drives simmons and i out.
 
1. Rig blue's tank to explode so when it does, it kills all of the blues.
2. make sure grif is next to tank when it does explode.
 
Zombie Apocalypse Plans:

1-35: Kill Grif, use his body to distract zombies and escape.

36: Infect myself and feast on Grif.
 
1. Copyright the phrase, "you've just been sarged"
2. Write "Warthog" on the Warthog so everybody stops mistaking it for a puma!!
 
To do list:
1- Kill Blues.
2- Shoot Grif.
3- Shoot Grif again.
4- Recruit Tex.
5- Build esoteric machines.
6- Find a dictionary to define "esoteric".
7- Kill more Blues.
8- Hammertime.
 
I'm not looking for a to-do list. What I'm trying to put together is a list of standing orders. These are policy statements and guidance from a commanding officer that are posted to tell subordinates what they're supposed to do in a variety of situations.

Examples:

There will be no sleeping while on sentry duty.
Ammunition is not to be sold for profit.
The teleporter is not a toy.
Don't touch my shotgun.
If it moves, shoot it. If it doesn't move, paint it red.
Donut is no longer allowed to handle Lopez's robot nuts.


I'm looking for as many funny ones as I can get, but I keep drawing a blank.
 
Use of the Puma for recreational purposes is strictly prohibited.
No personnel will be issued grenades until they have signed a statutory declaration that they will only be thrown at the enemy.
Use of sniper sighting laser to create graffiti is authorized only outside the confines of the base.
 
Use of the Puma for recreational purposes is strictly prohibited.
No personnel will be issued grenades until they have signed a statutory declaration that they will only be thrown at the enemy.
Use of sniper sighting laser to create graffiti is authorized only outside the confines of the base.

This is exactly what I'm after. Keep 'em coming.
 
Use of military rations as biological weapons is strictly prohibited without the expressed written consent of the Commanding Officer.
In the absence of specific action orders, just go find something and kill it.
The practice of breaking UNSC out to mean "U Never Shoulda Consented" is to cease immediately.

*Edit*

When you notice the enemy making a mistake, DO NOT POINT IT OUT TO HIM.
Personnel are not permitted to panic under fire until the order to do so has been given.
 
Simmons is in charge of confetti.
The use of sarcasm in connection with the word "sir" is to be discontinued until further notice.
Try harder to win.

I'm still looking for more. Any other ideas?
 
Hit the other fellow, as quick as you can, and as hard as you can, where it hurts him most, when he ain't lookin'.

Never argue with a superior, he outranks you and besides, there is a possibility he might be right.

Standing order for reconnaissance units: Advance in the general direction of the enemy until you get blown up.
 
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