405th Rp Critique

[Assassin716]

I am really liking how we can unfold an unknown plot here, without any collaboration, i have to say this is a great community project lets keep it going, and i do have to say i am liking alot of your guys writing styles, very forward, and to the point, i sometimes get caught up in the details!

but yeah let us all know what you think, even the ones who arnt participating but just reading it, what parts are good, are there any suspense to it, any drama, so let all of us working on the story know what you think.

 

[Sigma LS]

When I saw that new fleet coming out of Slipspace, I went. "Ooooh $h@7..." Haha, kinda cool.

Sorry I ranked you up a bit. You just need to be a higher rank if you want an ass like Dufraine to listen to you. Besides somebody with all that high tech prototype gear would have to be high rank.

I also tried to fix the continuity problem with people talking about "forests and grass" and things like that when Makos is an ugly red rock with sand. So I said the next closeset planet was Makis. Easy to mix the names up huh .

Anyway that means that the space battle is currently occuring above Makis with ground battles on both Makis and Makos.

The part of the Banewulf that has survivors on it is just outside orbit of Makos.

And sorry about some of the harshness on the part of Dufraine to Weyland, but like I said, he's kind of a hardass.

 

[Assassin716]

Oh no problem, as for Valstaff, well as i told you but not others specifically, his rank is all you kinda know about him, but i do intend for a deep plot involving him and Akalar.

And thought i might add in something interesting for all of us (the new exiting covenant fleet), more fighting, more character development YAY

Oh i am going to add in something with akalar and his squad noticing the surroundings long enough to see that Makos is a "Dead" planet and that the trees they were using as cover are long dead. And to add akalars team is investigating a large portion of the banewulf's middle section or the abdomen for short lol

but seriously i want to know what had happened i need someone to reveal the past events...oh well guess ill have to wait

 

[BlacRoseImmortal]

I know Im not participating in the RP but I just want to tell all of you guys that its so great and keep up the good work. I spent my entire day at work today reading the story

I cant wait for more!!!

 

[helios]

I'd just like to mention a few things:
*there's only about 40 survivours on the Banewulf, including Longsword crew,
*There was no "secret cargo" on the Banewulf, it was just an ordinary frigate, with an extroadinary Sergeant,
*I'd appreciate if on-one assumed a character from the Banewulf, although I'm open to being persuaded
*The Banewulf is broken in half due to a slipspace rupture, much like the one at the end of H3, no weird forerunner/covenant tech.
Other than that, I'm liking where this is going!

 

[Sigma LS]

Hey guys, this has been fun and all but as I was afraid of, I've been spending my spare time writing on this instead of armor making or other things. So I'm going to have to bow out.

Somebody can take control of Dufraine for me, or kill him in a tragic accident, whatever is most convenient. He is officially now NPC.

Hope you guys continue this and have fun.

 

[leegrisham]

It's a shame to loose ya.

 

[BlacRoseImmortal]

Aww Sigma :[

Well, hopefullly, when your finished with your armor project you can jump back into the RP.

 

[volkov]

Also kind of feeling the same, my character hasn't interracted with anyone so if somoene could just delete my posts... or just ignore him..

 

[SGT Razor]

We need someone to write the storyline for Alpha Team and Charlie Team. I'm really depending on those Warthogs.

And thought i might add in something interesting for all of us (the new exiting covenant fleet), more fighting, more character development YAY

Character development is exactly what a lot of people need.

Hey guys, this has been fun and all but as I was afraid of, I've been spending my spare time writing on this instead of armor making or other things. So I'm going to have to bow out.

Somebody can take control of Dufraine for me, or kill him in a tragic accident, whatever is most convenient. He is officially now NPC.

Hope you guys continue this and have fun.

NOOOOOO!!! Almost all of my posts have been because of Dufraine! He can't die!

 

[Spartan137]

Why don't we just bring a huge Covenant fleet in to shoot the Titan's Pride down? Have it crash on that rock, sorta like the Pillar of Autumn?

In the meantime, I'll take over him.

Everyone else, prepare to abandon the Titan's Pride. You too, Weyland.

Sigma, I'll keep Dufraine alive if you return. I'll just put 'em in a coma. Looks like that ODST lieutenant just got a promotion. Congrats, Assasin.

 

[Assassin716]

Actually i was going to pull something later on for the Lieutenant (new rank actually), and i was hoping somehow Titans Pride would be injured (was going to hand a special present to Dufraine, so hopefully you can get a bit done sigma before i reward ya). But it does look like this might turn into Halo 1 cept for the fact they are on a planet,

I do have to say this is a marvelous Community story, i know a good story when i see one too, used to start them all the time on The Black Library forums, for those that dont know the black library is the publication that prints the Games Workshop Warhammer and 40k books.

But my greatest talent is keeping a hidden plot, and being able to drive the story forward, so if you guys want me to add in something special let me know, because i have a really good idea, as for dufraine sigma if you could clear your inbox ill send you something,

But im pretty sure everyone thats already in the roleplay is on the ground cept dufraine and weyland, so sigma if you could create a scenario or something to send down weyland or if Primal Weyland can create a post or somthing to get her to the planet ill drive the story forward and i can guarantee you guys will be awed and willing to type more (hopefully)

 

[SPARTAN II]

I know Im not participating in the RP but I just want to tell all of you guys that its so great and keep up the good work. I spent my entire day at work today reading the story

I cant wait for more!!!

It's nice to know others have been enjoying our combined literary efforts. Thanks, BRI!

I'd just like to mention a few things:

[...]

*I'd appreciate if on-one assumed a character from the Banewulf, although I'm open to being persuaded
*The Banewulf is broken in half due to a slipspace rupture, much like the one at the end of H3, no weird forerunner/covenant tech.

[...]

About that... it's been suggested to my character already that he was most likely assigned to the Banewulf. I thought that could be a possibility, given my character's uncertainty about how he ended up out there, but personally I hadn't actually given any real thought to the circumstances leading up to his being stranded out there.

Also kind of feeling the same, my character hasn't interracted with anyone so if somoene could just delete my posts... or just ignore him..

Well, to be honest, it's difficult for any of the other characters to have interacted with yours as you made it practically impossible for anyone to find him. No locator/distress beacon, nothing. I think you and your character could really contribute to this, though. You just need to rewrite your last addition to the RPG so that rather than have him set the auto-destruct, have him maneuver over to the planet or something.

[...]

But my greatest talent is keeping a hidden plot, and being able to drive the story forward, so if you guys want me to add in something special let me know, because i have a really good idea, as for dufraine sigma if you could clear your inbox ill send you something,

But im pretty sure everyone thats already in the roleplay is on the ground cept dufraine and weyland, so sigma if you could create a scenario or something to send down weyland or if Primal Weyland can create a post or somthing to get her to the planet ill drive the story forward and i can guarantee you guys will be awed and willing to type more (hopefully)

I definately agree hidden plot really adds to the story. I'm even trying to come up with some hidden plot details involving my own character. Regarding your comment pertaining to the Titan's Pride and this likely turning into a HALO 1 type storyline, personally I don't think we should destroy the ship outright, but agree maybe she could be damaged.

If she were destroyed, that would leave only the Incarnate as air support, and the only way off the surface. I'm not quite sure how many personnel are now down on Makos, including the forty survivors from the Banewulf's wreckage, but with the Incarnate already being fully crewed, wouldn't having only one vessel make it difficult to evacuate everyone on the surface?

That's just my take on it, anyway...

Just FYI: after some discussion with Assassin, my character's being given command of Zulu company, so that I can more easily progress with the rest of the storyline. Just so everyone doesn't think I'm godmodding in the RPG or anything, lol.

 

[helios]

Spartan II, It's cool if you want to be a Banewulfian, as you're not already on it. So you can do more or less what you want and it won't screw up anything I might be doing.
BTW, I pretty sure this has been said before, but here it is again; The Banewulf+Survivors are in space, the mid section, no survivours (aside from possibly cryo-tube inhabitants. assassin, could you PM me re:this?), is on Makis (Makos is the asteriod that the Fleet is regrouping at.).
Oh, and if the Titan's Pride goes down, the Banewulf can pick up Primal Weyland, and provide ground support.

 

[Spartan137]

Thinking this over again, it looks like I'm only going to wound the Pride and set her down on that dusty ball. Thanks for the support though. We can use her as a base of operations.

 

[Seno Ypsamee]

I jumped in, I am aboard one of those cruisers closing in on the Pride, just so it doesn't seem as if they are just floating up there doing nothing...

 

[Spartan137]

Whoa. A loyalist elite? crazy...

Please don't destroy the Pride. Just disable it's engines. If your gonna destroy it, at least wait until all the crew have been evacuated.

 

[leegrisham]

If she were destroyed, that would leave only the Incarnate as air support, and the only way off the surface. I'm not quite sure how many personnel are now down on Makos, including the forty survivors from the Banewulf's wreckage, but with the Incarnate already being fully crewed, wouldn't having only one vessel make it difficult to evacuate everyone on the surface?

Hey don't forget about the Elite cruiser!

 

[Assassin716]

This community story is far from over, and dont worry hopefully we can hold off a space engagement to focus on the ground, and read my most recent post, UNSC escorts are finally being delivered to the Incarnate. But ive trying to open up some grounds for each poster so they have room to lead their own story for character development. Oh and hopefully everyone knows what that gurgling sound and limping shadow is, muahahahah, its not a halo universe with out it.

 

[Seno Ypsamee]

Whoa. A loyalist elite? crazy...

Please don't destroy the Pride. Just disable it's engines. If your gonna destroy it, at least wait until all the crew have been evacuated.

We aren't going to destroy you, just follow you to your destination, then kill you all