Well today I logged on to find a delicious surprise in my XBL mail - a free sneak peek at the Bayonetta Demo from the lovely Hawty McBloggy. I felt it was only fair to share my experience with you all since I was given this privilege to share a review of a non-Halo game to a large crowd of gamers such as yourself.
Review:
From the creators of Devil May Cry and Resident Evil comes Bayonetta although probably would have gotten away with the title "Everything Dies: Don't worry about the storyline - I'll be getting naked". Now mind you, I'm no professional reviewer, so this review will be strictly from a gamer's point of view.
*Cue Opening screens, Sega, game manufacturer and... CUTSCENE*
CUTSCENE (Layman's version): A long long time ago, a Dark slept with a light (don't ask me what .. they don't say) a child is born and is forbidden from using dark magic ever.
Ok we're back to the start screen now. New game. Options include extra easy (not available in the demo), easy, or normal .. OK Normal.. let's go.
Tutorial, alright x shoots, y and b are to punch and kick things .. standard movement and right trigger to dodge - whatever .. lets GO.
*Real tutorial starts* Long list of available combos appear on the right side of the screen... will I remember any of them.. no. *random monster jumps into black arena with me and cheesy non-fighting music begins* *prepare to do arbitrary tasks like punching him one.. kicking him once, etc*
FINALLY, we're going to see some action right!?
*Cue you're on a clock tower, it explodes walls are falling all over the place and you are riding the wall like a sled down a snow slope from hell - screw the storyline demons or something is everywhere*
This is where I completely threw out everything I learned in the tutorial and tapped x and y like crazy... I didn't know what was happening but she pulled out machine guns, summoned giant fists and legs of a demon to smite everything. She even has machine guns in her heel of her high heels. Things explode into Sonic gold rings that's apparently money and everything dies. A prompt comes up to hit X&Y for a torture kill... a giant iron maiden sails out of the sky closes and everything explodes into a pool of blood. Done. Do I know what just happened - no.. do I care.. no it was beautiful. An automated cut scene takes over and makes me do some cool acrobatics across this falling landscape (how high are we up... that fight was atleast a minute or two long...?). *cue more winged angels... demons.. who knows* A repeat performance follows... she does more crazy moves pulling out guns, katanas, punching kicking and exploding everything in sight.. it's like a Michael Bay movie - no plot but everything dies and you don't care because you know it's going to try and wrap the story up for you at the end.
END PART 1
PART 2
*Cutscene: She awakens on a train.. we can finally get a better look at the main character now that we're not being stabbed to death by winged whatever the hell they were. She's cute, a goth/steampunk hybrid clothing style with Final Fantasy weapontry and Gordon Freeman black framed glasses (aiming at the geek crowd much eh?). She got machine guns on her feet.. done before but still cool. You're in the promised land .. lots of old stone buildings.*
I immediately stop to check out all her weaponry and try to figure out what to do with all the crap I picked up earlier and accidenltly use the item... oh well. After a bit of walking through some old stone buildings and coming across some ghosts who are apparently afraid of me I reach a sign stating a door is closed that I have to take the only available route. Surprise - things show up and it's a repeat performance. Bullets fly everywhere I'm picking up angel weapons (I'm assuming these are angels now?) and having my way with them. A torture kill combination shows up.. a giant noose sweeps down and snags one in a bloody pinata style.
*cue mini boss 1*
Showing all the signs "hit me here at these glowy spots.. especially this red one" I pummel him in no time.. but wait she's doing something.. she's thrown her clothes off which is apparently some giant demon that requires me to tap x to eat him. Blood explodes everywhere and I'm dressed again after the demon disappears - W.. T.. F..
I pick up the mini bosses axe which is clearly 4x the size of me I enter a small room and get ambushed by 2 of something or another.. I didn't catch what they were.. I took 2 swings and it was vaporized and the axe was gone.. probably should have saved it.. I bet there's a boss.
*cue boss* Surprise he wasn't a mini boss .. he's back and you are on a tiny bridge. He picks up the bridge and you assault his hand as he tries to throw you. Good game you win.
*cue something about light,dark, and reality ???*
END DEMO
So long story short, I don't know exactly what the story is.. as it never really tells you.. just that it is visually appealing with good music (minus the tutorial) and things die a lot in various creative ways. So in short, God of War but without the good storyline or atleast anything that is released to you in the demo. Don't let me make up your mind though, try it out when it hits the XBL marketplace and see if it's your cup of tea. Personally, I'll be passing atleast on launch and maybe picking it up later used.
Cheers,
Kensai
Review:
From the creators of Devil May Cry and Resident Evil comes Bayonetta although probably would have gotten away with the title "Everything Dies: Don't worry about the storyline - I'll be getting naked". Now mind you, I'm no professional reviewer, so this review will be strictly from a gamer's point of view.
*Cue Opening screens, Sega, game manufacturer and... CUTSCENE*
CUTSCENE (Layman's version): A long long time ago, a Dark slept with a light (don't ask me what .. they don't say) a child is born and is forbidden from using dark magic ever.
Ok we're back to the start screen now. New game. Options include extra easy (not available in the demo), easy, or normal .. OK Normal.. let's go.
Tutorial, alright x shoots, y and b are to punch and kick things .. standard movement and right trigger to dodge - whatever .. lets GO.
*Real tutorial starts* Long list of available combos appear on the right side of the screen... will I remember any of them.. no. *random monster jumps into black arena with me and cheesy non-fighting music begins* *prepare to do arbitrary tasks like punching him one.. kicking him once, etc*
FINALLY, we're going to see some action right!?
*Cue you're on a clock tower, it explodes walls are falling all over the place and you are riding the wall like a sled down a snow slope from hell - screw the storyline demons or something is everywhere*
This is where I completely threw out everything I learned in the tutorial and tapped x and y like crazy... I didn't know what was happening but she pulled out machine guns, summoned giant fists and legs of a demon to smite everything. She even has machine guns in her heel of her high heels. Things explode into Sonic gold rings that's apparently money and everything dies. A prompt comes up to hit X&Y for a torture kill... a giant iron maiden sails out of the sky closes and everything explodes into a pool of blood. Done. Do I know what just happened - no.. do I care.. no it was beautiful. An automated cut scene takes over and makes me do some cool acrobatics across this falling landscape (how high are we up... that fight was atleast a minute or two long...?). *cue more winged angels... demons.. who knows* A repeat performance follows... she does more crazy moves pulling out guns, katanas, punching kicking and exploding everything in sight.. it's like a Michael Bay movie - no plot but everything dies and you don't care because you know it's going to try and wrap the story up for you at the end.
END PART 1
PART 2
*Cutscene: She awakens on a train.. we can finally get a better look at the main character now that we're not being stabbed to death by winged whatever the hell they were. She's cute, a goth/steampunk hybrid clothing style with Final Fantasy weapontry and Gordon Freeman black framed glasses (aiming at the geek crowd much eh?). She got machine guns on her feet.. done before but still cool. You're in the promised land .. lots of old stone buildings.*
I immediately stop to check out all her weaponry and try to figure out what to do with all the crap I picked up earlier and accidenltly use the item... oh well. After a bit of walking through some old stone buildings and coming across some ghosts who are apparently afraid of me I reach a sign stating a door is closed that I have to take the only available route. Surprise - things show up and it's a repeat performance. Bullets fly everywhere I'm picking up angel weapons (I'm assuming these are angels now?) and having my way with them. A torture kill combination shows up.. a giant noose sweeps down and snags one in a bloody pinata style.
*cue mini boss 1*
Showing all the signs "hit me here at these glowy spots.. especially this red one" I pummel him in no time.. but wait she's doing something.. she's thrown her clothes off which is apparently some giant demon that requires me to tap x to eat him. Blood explodes everywhere and I'm dressed again after the demon disappears - W.. T.. F..
I pick up the mini bosses axe which is clearly 4x the size of me I enter a small room and get ambushed by 2 of something or another.. I didn't catch what they were.. I took 2 swings and it was vaporized and the axe was gone.. probably should have saved it.. I bet there's a boss.
*cue boss* Surprise he wasn't a mini boss .. he's back and you are on a tiny bridge. He picks up the bridge and you assault his hand as he tries to throw you. Good game you win.
*cue something about light,dark, and reality ???*
END DEMO
So long story short, I don't know exactly what the story is.. as it never really tells you.. just that it is visually appealing with good music (minus the tutorial) and things die a lot in various creative ways. So in short, God of War but without the good storyline or atleast anything that is released to you in the demo. Don't let me make up your mind though, try it out when it hits the XBL marketplace and see if it's your cup of tea. Personally, I'll be passing atleast on launch and maybe picking it up later used.
Cheers,
Kensai
