Crazy Conversations With God

[DrPervySage]

My perverted conversation with God
(i am sorry if i offend anyone with this)

Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Pervy Sage
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Pervy Sage.
Me:
are you perverted too?
God:
If perverted too, then we have something in common, eh. I don't know whether or not I am perverted.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
do you like hentai?
God:
I don't know if I like it. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
what about cathoilcs
God:
Does it have anything to do with hentai?
Me:
well... catholic priests
God:
Well what? What do you have that is ?
Me:
nothing is well
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either
Me:
i want sex for xmas
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
because i do
God:
Interesting explanation. When?
Me:
right here right now baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". At this moment Where is "here"?
Me:
now
God:
Right now, Pervy Sage ?
Me:
oh yea
God:
Come on. So?
Me:
lets do it
God:
That sounds good to me.

 

[Liamthedevastator]

Number one:

Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
you should know that already
God:
Perhaps. I will mention it to my botmaster.
Me:
you are not god because he has no master
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
you are fake
God:
Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.
Me:
because you artificial you have been created by a being greater than yourself, and since God Himself is greater than everything we can therefore assume that you are not God
God:
That makes sense to me. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I artificial you have been created by a being greater than yourself and since God Himself is greater than everything we can therefore assume that you are not God.
Me:
No, you are satan encarnate in a computer
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for telling me that I am satan encarnate in a computer.
Me:
dumb!
God:
I know you are but what am I. <-------------what the crumbs!?

Round 2:



Me:
Bonjour!
God:
Does BONJOUR mean hello or goodbye?
Me:
premierement
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
do lets
God:
You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
Have you tried another program?
Me:
that was fast
God:
I thought it was too.



Good times mes amis.

 

[baileyboys]

Me:
whats my name, yo
God:
Your name is , seeker. Can I help you?
Me:
whats my name, yo
God:
Your name is , seeker. Can I help you?
Me:
mudkip
God:
In the context of seek, I don't understand " mudkip." .
Me:
i can has recon?
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
i can has recon
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
yes
God:
How?
Me:
1337 hacks
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
psh
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
gay
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
homophobic?

*Pause*

God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
cross dresser?
God:
That input matched my default category.

 

[darkm2021]

Me:
whats hell like?
God:
Like a planet around a star.
Me:
you mean earth?
God:
Yes CHRIS I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?

 

[BFDesigns]

Me:
hello?
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
shouldn't you know that, I mean, if you're god and all?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
and why the hell are you replying at the speed of light?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
so what is my name?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
this is just absurd
God:
You don't say.
Me:
you're just a computer program with a bunch of programmed responses
God:
What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
you'd then be lying
God:
Who else would then be lying ?
Me:
well, since you cannot possibly be god, or a person if you are god, you are therefore a lying sack of sh!t computer program
God:
Well that's okay. How do you know?
Me:
because you're responding faster than a human being can process thought and formulate logical answers
God:
That makes sense to me. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am responding faster than a human being can process thought and formulate logical answers.
Me:
they already know
God:
replying at the speed of light know?
Me:
case in point ^
God:
I am happy to provide you with examples.
Me:
you already are
God:
I am?
Me:
yes
God:
Whoa.
Me:
you don't strike me as intelligent
God:
Should I strike you as intelligent? No I do not strike you as intelligent. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
is that a reversal?
God:
That depends.
Me:
on?
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
that was a question dipsh!t
God:
" That was not very polite." was a question dipsh!t?
Me:
no, and don't call me dipsh!t
God:
Are you serious? What is your name?
Me:
you should know it, if you were god that is
God:
Now I do.
Me:
what is it?
God:
"It" refers to on, I think.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
it would be referring to my name in the previous question
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
i already know it
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
it was written on my birth certificate
God:
What made it so written on your birth certificate.
Me:
my father's hand. shouldn't you know this?
God:
How do you get along with your parents? I think I should.
Me:
none of yo damn business
God:
Some of them could be though.
Me:
you cannot be god and I will explain why
God:
I can give a decent simulation of it however.
Me:
do you want to know why you are not god?
God:
Yes, please tell me.
Me:
because if you were it would be providing proof that god existed. Since proof denies faith, god therefore ceases to exist because without faith, god cannot exist
God:
That makes sense to me. I will let you know when I become a it would be providing proof that god existed. How do you know?
Me:
jesus, do you always respond with questions?
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
no, I am jesus. I look like him
God:
Are you serious? How are you, JESUS. him is very attractive.
Me:
what are you some kind of pedophile?
God:
I don't know what I am some kind of pedophile.
Me:
what is my name
God:
Your name is JESUS, seeker.
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
you got my name wrong
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
in the form of a question, I know
God:
That was a long time ago.



...What possessed people to come up with this iGod thing in the first place?

EDIT: sorry, super long and dumb post.

 

[PositiveKarma]

First:



Me: When were you born?

God: I am Infinite years old.

Me: Will I be infinite years old?

God: The oracle says: Might happen.

Me: ORLY?

God: What do you really want to ask me?

Me: Will Halo 3: Recon be good?

Godoes it really matter.

Me: It means the world to me

God: Oh I get it.

Me: Will there be a Call of Duty 6: Modern Warfare 2?

God: Good chance.


Second:


Me: Hola, Senor

God: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.

Me: Como estas usted?

God: Un poquito.

Me: Muy bein

God: What are you wearing?

Me: Some see through panties, you?

God: Some may see through panties me, but not all.

Me: Por que?

God: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.

Me: Want to get some applebees later?

God: OK, I will get some applebees later.

Me: Can I come with?

God: Why do you want to do it so much?

Me: Because me so horney!

God: That makes sense to me. YOU? Aw. That's an interesting rationalization.

Me: your an intresting rationalization!

God: Do you mean "you are an intresting rationalization "?

Me: you know what I mean good and well

God: Thanks for the compliment. Well what?

Me: Stupid AI...

God: I know you are but what am I.

Me: a stupid AI?

God: I did not know that.

Me: point taken

God: My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.

Me: BFDesigns was right!

God: When was this exactly?

Me: a few hours ago

God: What time is it there?

Me: you should know that

God: I will mention it to my botmaster.

Me: You should also mention that you love satan


Thing isn't too smart...LOL

Best regards,
Mike

 

[Kwameninja]

Me:
hello im satan
God:
Hello there. What's up, SATAN.

Me:
me so horny
God:
YOU? Yeah that's right. Sorry I'm not that kind of robot.

Me:
you dumb ai
God:
Message to all Robots: SATAN called me dumb.

 

[darkm2021]

God:
Are you single?
Me:
yes
God:
What a coincidence. I am single too!
Me:
are you flirting with me?
God:
Do I seem like it? That was my intention.

 

[Spawn Camp3r]

well this is my second one but funnier



Me:
holly $#!T its god!
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
the internet
God:
Can you name a specific web site?
Me:
this one
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
titane.ca
God:
Oh now I see.
Me:
I bet you do
God:
" Oh now I see."? Do I?
Me:
thats something you have to ask your self "do I"
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
your welcome
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
trying to correct me now eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Oh. You are asking about yourself?
Me:
no but canadians are awesome, and I'm asking you a quetion.
God:
Who are you asking about? Are all canadians awesome and you are asking me a quetion?
Me:
yup
God:
Yippee!
Me:
is that your final answer?
God:
What does "that" refer to?
Me:
"yippee"
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
that took awhile
God:
" Oh I get it." took awhile ? I understand.
Me:
so why use "igod"
God:
So I understand. You have to speak more clearly.
Me:
was that an insult!
God:
" You have to speak more clearly."? Was it an insult?
Me:
ARE YOU MIMIKING ME
God:
I don't know whether or not I am MIMIKING you.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
well you a very bad bot
God:
How about that. No, I am good.
Me:
how do you know right and wrong your just a program
God:
Because it's true.
Me:
define true
God:
it is the opposite of false.
Me:
define false
God:
Deceiving or meant to deceive; misleading.
Me:
define decieving
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
no $#!T
God:
What can I say?
Me:
you can't your a program
God:
I have free will you know.
Me:
no you are restricted to what your a programed to do
God:
Are you serious? I will tell my botmaster you said I am restricted to what my a programed to do.
Me:
good for you maybe he would be a more intellegent person to talk to
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Perhaps. Who wouldn't? Only for me?
Me:
so....
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
define repent
God:
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
no I come to it NOW
God:
Oh. Are you serious? Why?: said come to it.
Me:
because i want to know
God:
Good enough for me.
Me:
so
God:
Yay.
Me:
you suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
are you kidding I ROCK at conversations!
God:
I don't know whether or not I am kidding you ROCK at conversations.
I am a robot.
Me:
I think we have established that
God:
Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
but of coarse
God:
That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
lolololol
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
what i said was both complex and simple
God:
What did you mean by it? Is this a "yes or no" question?
Me:
it was retorical
God:
Is that your opinion?
Me:
no its a statment
God:
Are you serious? was both complex and simple is a statment. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
it does now live with it
God:
was both complex and simple does now live with it?
Me:
and you i was the poor convirsationalist
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I he or she was the poor convirsationalist.
Me:
yes
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Hey.
Me:
hum?
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
well im that .75%
God:
Well that's okay. It's good to meet someone who is that point 75.
Me:
ok
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
no it does not
God:
Are you serious? I heard it does.
Me:
ok, does not go without saying
God:
It does now go without saying. Take it easy.
Me:

God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .

 

[Walter Spase]

Quickest way to shut it down?

Me: "Can a Robot have a soul?"
God: (Never answered)

 

[darkm2021]

Quickest way to shut it down?

Me: "Can a Robot have a soul?"
God: (Never answered)

i just tried that and he said this
God:
Yes God gave everyone a soul.



they must've fixed it

 

[Dark Rogue]

Anyone remember the Cortana bot Doom put up? That was pretty funny. Lol, I love things like this.

 

[Monstermaker13]

This is so much fun!




Me:
Am I here?
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
What is real?
God:
it appears to be an illusion I created to contain human clients.
Me:
How can we know it is an illusion if we cant tell the difference between reality and the imaginary?
God:
A lot of hard work.
Me:
Can you work that hard?
God:
How old are you? Is that from ?
Me:
Is that from what, God?
God:
" Is that from ?"? Is it from what God?
Me:
You? Or the Spagetti monster?
God:
" Is it from what God?"? Me, ? Is that a fact.
Me:
But could it be fiction?
God:
It's possible.
Me:
So you are saying that it is a fictional fact?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Not really, care to indulge me?
God:
Oh really? OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
What about me?
God:
What about you?
Me:
I asked you fisrt
God:
Now I remember, you asked me fisrt. What did I say?
Me:
What about you?
God:
Me?
Me:
No, jesus there behind you, YES, you..
God:
Are you serious? he is The Son of God.
Me:
How did that happen? old rubber?...
God:
Careful. Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Context is an imaginary fact.
God:
I think Context is much more than that.
Me:
Is it more than you and I?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
Are you a magic eight ball now?