Game Over

imMonkeyGOD

Active Member
So I've been always dreaming of making my own machinima series. Well, a good one at least >.>'

So this took a year too put the story together, which means getting the storyline just right that I can accept to.

Please don't take this idea, I worked hard to think of a good one, took a year to think of this just right. le lol
This is half of the first episode script, I know, need some work, I'm not the guy who gets A's in his English class, just a guy with an idea. Really isn't professional either :p Pretty long too.

EPISODE/CHAPTER ONE: PWN!

INT. ROOM OF CHARLIE

AUGUST 31, 2006

There is a horrific thunderstorm outside yet doesn’t seem to bother the protagonist, CHARLIE. Charlie is a 15 years old guy. He obviously has an interest with the game, HALO. It is about a super soldier, Master Chief against an entire alien race, the Covenant and end in a conflict where MC must keep the Covenant from activating HALO.
*CHARLIE is sort of a faceless character

With about a month away from Halo 3, Charlie plays Halo 2 nonstop. In his room for around 24/7, he barely hears a message on the radio about the thunderstorm.

RADIO
Please be aware of a thunderstorm coming ahead to the area of (static) to (static) Turn off your electronics until further notice.

He ignores the radio warning and continues with Halo 2 matchmaking with his best friend, BEN. Ben is a bit short for his age (5’7) He has brown hair and blue eyes. His hair is a bit longer than others with a curve on his bangs. He also has the same interest as Charlie such as Halo. His relationship between Charlie is like a little brother. He takes care of him and concern…no homo ^.^

(Thunder)

BEN (On Headset)
Hey dude, is it alright out there? The thunderstorm seems pretty serious out there. Maybe we should listen to the announcements and turn the Xbox off.

CHARLIE
What and quit? I have to get better for preparation of Halo 3!

BEN (On Headset)
Whatever, man.

Though he should have taken the advice from Ben, the storm got worse until a thunder shock came so close to his house it made Charlie jumped.

CHARLIE
BRB Guys.

Charlie, curious at the storm he goes looking at the window. With Charlie off guard looking at the window, another thunder shock came and hit the house causing an electric shock through the console (XBOX 360) into it controller (WIRED)
With his hands on the controller, it electrocuted Charlie. Charlie falls to the ground.

BEN
Charlie? What the hell was that I heard!? Charlie? CHARLIE! (MGS MOMENT :D)


FADES BLACK

(Static TV with the Game Over Title)
GOES TO GAME OVER TITLE
CHAPTER/EPISODE ONE: PWN!

6 Months Later…

BEN has been playing Halo 3 for months. He got all the achievements including the rank as a Brigadier. As he plays a ranked Team Slayer he sees the last person who he would ever think would sign on, Charlie.

ImCharlieFoxtrot (Charlie’s Gamertag) signed on

Charlie died that night 6 months ago due to electrocution by the storm. He thought it could be some imposter who got on his account. Ben posts a message to his Gamertag. His message basically said, “Who are you?” For a while he had no response but instead got something much more than a reply.
imCharlieFoxtrot joined the game.

It was pretty much impossible to join a ranked game because it wasn’t meant to do that unless you were hacking in some way. Worst of all, he made his own team in Team Slayer, the Green Team.

BLUE TEAM PLAYER
WTF!? HACKS!?

BLUE TEAM PLAYER
WHO CARES, HE’S A ONE MAN TEAM. THIS IS A FREEBIE. GET HIM!

BEN
WAIT! HOLD ON, HOLD ON!

He stops the team for a reason because he sense something wasn’t right and also if it was his friend.

BLUE TEAM PLAYER
Why’d you stop us? What can he do?

Ben thought fast and made a good excuse

BEN
Think about it. This is TEAM SLAYER. No one can’t just simply join an ongoing ranked match unless by hacking. He’s obviously a hacker and could pwn us all.

They all thought about it and knew it was right.

BLUE TEAM PLAYER
You got a point there. Let’s wait and let the red take the bait.

Once he said that, all of the reds charged towards the Green Team Player (imCharlieFoxtrot) in a full attack and jumping to him.
ImCharlieFoxtrot sees them jump towards him.

FADES BLACK

The game comes back *Sort of like Stand by*. The entire red team comes into confusion when imCharlieFoxtrot is gone, Charlie was behind them (before in front) in a moment of time, the entire red team dies all by Charlie. After that, Charlie takes a good look at Ben for a few seconds (In the game lol) and disappears….

ImCharlieFoxtrot quits…

BLUE TEAM PLAYER (background voice)
Whoa. Thank god we didn’t go through that slaughter.

*Camera focus to Ben for a while until you hear a bell ring

INT. CAFETERIA SCHOOL
*Camera now comes back to real life looking at a bell ring

It is the next day at school where Ben and his friend, Nathan goes walks to their usual table. NATHAN is a friend who hangs out with Ben from time to time. Used to with Charlie too. Pretty much anything Ben does he would do too.
As they walk to their table, Ben asks a question to him.

BEN
Hey, Nat (His nickname)

NATHAN
Yeah?

BEN
This might sound weird, but last night on Halo, a person joined the game.

Nathan
Okay…so what?

BEN
On a ranked Team Slayer,

NATHAN
Oh, that must have been some hacker. What was his Gamertag?

BEN
I might sound crazy, but it was Charlie.

NATHAN
Charlie…the Charlie that died? Ben, you are crazy.


BEN
I’m serious. (He was) It said it right there on my 360, imCharlieFoxtrot signed in.

NATHAN
Dude it’s been how long? 6 months? Since his death, don’t disrespect him with this ****. I know it’s been hard to you but thinking he’s here won’t make him come back.

Ben went silent for a few seconds, thinking if Nathan if he’s right maybe he was going crazy, but just remember those player saw him too but it could have been an imposter also which is what he thinks now.

BEN
Your right, now let’s eat. Want to get on Halo tonight?

NATHAN
Yeah, let’s do that.

TO BE CONTINUED

I did this little clip, it part of the story but really in the middle of the series. Only problem about this clip is it has no voices, everyone would be confused if I don't explain. This clip has really nothing to do with this script I showed you...at the moment ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_o_hlN21pA

Hope you liked it. :D Tell me anything that need work, I trust you guys
 

Vader

Member
I think you have some good potential here.
Things I would alter -
Radio Announcement - change the warning from the radio to another person: friend, parent, sibling. I don't think people listen to the radio while playing Halo.
Wired controller - establish that his wireless controller needs charging. You could also use this moment to kill Charlie - the moment he plugs it in, the lightning hits, and BLAMMO. Dead Charlie.
Add Funeral - don't just say he's dead, show that he's dead. Have a funeral. I know it may be a little tough to pull off, but you may be able to use your church (if you go) to film this scene. Otherwise you may be able to use a cemetary.
Language - nix the S-bomb. If Ben and Nat are friends, he shouldn't have to say it like that. Are you portraying Nat as a concerned friend, or a selfish bastard? The first half of that line is harsh on Ben, then the second half is consoling. It's sort of a mixed message. Maybe - "Dude, I know it's been really tough on you... But wishing he were back won't bring him back. And what you just told me is almost disrespectful."

Watched the clip - you're good with the editing, that's for sure! I like that you're mixing live action with machinima - it doesn't happen often. I think you could totally pull it off.
 

imMonkeyGOD

Active Member
Vader said:
I think you have some good potential here.
Things I would alter -
Radio Announcement - change the warning from the radio to another person: friend, parent, sibling. I don't think people listen to the radio while playing Halo.
Wired controller - establish that his wireless controller needs charging. You could also use this moment to kill Charlie - the moment he plugs it in, the lightning hits, and BLAMMO. Dead Charlie.
Add Funeral - don't just say he's dead, show that he's dead. Have a funeral. I know it may be a little tough to pull off, but you may be able to use your church (if you go) to film this scene. Otherwise you may be able to use a cemetary.
Language - nix the S-bomb. If Ben and Nat are friends, he shouldn't have to say it like that. Are you portraying Nat as a concerned friend, or a selfish bastard? The first half of that line is harsh on Ben, then the second half is consoling. It's sort of a mixed message. Maybe - "Dude, I know it's been really tough on you... But wishing he were back won't bring him back. And what you just told me is almost disrespectful."

Watched the clip - you're good with the editing, that's for sure! I like that you're mixing live action with machinima - it doesn't happen often. I think you could totally pull it off.
Thank you :D
Lol I'll fix it. I have a bit of experience with the editing now.
The reason why I didn't put a funeral is because it would be too hard for me to do but I'll think of something. I'll try to get it in.
I'm thinking maybe see Ben looking at Charlie's tombstone at the cemetery or something like that.

I feel like the first guy to make a serious Live Action/Machinima film :p
 
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Vader

Member
You're not the only one that does serious - it's just that the RvB was funny and everyone wants to do RvB, but call it something else. Yours actually sounds original, and adding the Live Action with the game is something that I don't think has been done (in Halo, at least).
I'm eager to see this thing come about!
 
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