Hello all,
I'm sure that a few of you may have noticed I've been rather absent over the last couple of months. The long and the short of this message is that I don't know what the future holds, but for the immediate future, I am here in some capacity.
Let me start off by saying a very heartfelt thank you to Division Staff for all you have done to keep this place moving forward. You all have my deepest respect.
As some know, I have a job that over the years has been taking more and more of my time. During Covid, I lost all ability to have a work life balance. You always tell yourself that you'll do stuff late in the evening just until this one project is done or this one Trial is over. But eventually it became the norm as it was so easy - being fully capable of doing 95% of my job from upstairs in my house made it difficult to not do a little extra. Over time it became not just easy but necessary to do all of the extra time just to keep my head from going under the water. The last year has been a challenge like nothing else I've ever experienced.
In 2023 my husband and I each lost a parent exactly one month apart and then 4 months later we each lost an Aunt a week apart. There were times when I felt like my lungs were full of water. I just couldn't get enough air in. There just was no space between each round of grief. So you know what I did? I worked MORE. I buried myself. This year has been a new challenge. At the end of May - beginning of June, my dad had a medical emergency and was hospitalized for a week. 6 weeks later, I had him out for lunch and he had a stroke. And 2 weeks ago he had another medical emergency that may have been another small stroke.
Generally I'm a pretty private person. I don't share a lot. However, I felt this important. Helping my dad plan for an unknown future has caused me to re-evaluate what's important in my life. Trying to take on his ducks and add them in to my ducks has made me realize that not only are my own ducks not in a row, they may also not be ducks. Perhaps trash pandas. And they are all running in different directions. So I've started making changes to help control what I can control. That way I hope to feel less out of control when these stressful events happen. In that process I've realized how much I miss making costumes. It's been literally YEARS since I've made one. I also really miss being in costumes and having fun in costumes with people. I think of all of the cool events I've had the opportunity to be a part of and I didn't attend in costume. I don't want to have any more regrets. While my work schedule isn't letting up any time soon, I am working towards making better choices with my time. Being present in what I'm doing instead of worrying about work. I have to plan to fit in costume building time. Just to build. Just to enjoy the process. Eventually I'll have something done. I cannot afford to leave anything until the last minute as those last minutes are always swallowed by something I didn't plan for. I have to learn how to see projects in small bites instead of focusing on having the time to do the whole thing.
So.....hi! I'm here. I miss my time here. I miss costuming. I want to build. I'd love to carve out little bits of time with some of you. Nothing formal. Certainly nothing I'll be able to schedule more than a week or two out. Maybe a video chat of some kind where people put aside an hour or so of their time to work on something.....anything....with me?
I'm sure that a few of you may have noticed I've been rather absent over the last couple of months. The long and the short of this message is that I don't know what the future holds, but for the immediate future, I am here in some capacity.
Let me start off by saying a very heartfelt thank you to Division Staff for all you have done to keep this place moving forward. You all have my deepest respect.
As some know, I have a job that over the years has been taking more and more of my time. During Covid, I lost all ability to have a work life balance. You always tell yourself that you'll do stuff late in the evening just until this one project is done or this one Trial is over. But eventually it became the norm as it was so easy - being fully capable of doing 95% of my job from upstairs in my house made it difficult to not do a little extra. Over time it became not just easy but necessary to do all of the extra time just to keep my head from going under the water. The last year has been a challenge like nothing else I've ever experienced.
In 2023 my husband and I each lost a parent exactly one month apart and then 4 months later we each lost an Aunt a week apart. There were times when I felt like my lungs were full of water. I just couldn't get enough air in. There just was no space between each round of grief. So you know what I did? I worked MORE. I buried myself. This year has been a new challenge. At the end of May - beginning of June, my dad had a medical emergency and was hospitalized for a week. 6 weeks later, I had him out for lunch and he had a stroke. And 2 weeks ago he had another medical emergency that may have been another small stroke.
Generally I'm a pretty private person. I don't share a lot. However, I felt this important. Helping my dad plan for an unknown future has caused me to re-evaluate what's important in my life. Trying to take on his ducks and add them in to my ducks has made me realize that not only are my own ducks not in a row, they may also not be ducks. Perhaps trash pandas. And they are all running in different directions. So I've started making changes to help control what I can control. That way I hope to feel less out of control when these stressful events happen. In that process I've realized how much I miss making costumes. It's been literally YEARS since I've made one. I also really miss being in costumes and having fun in costumes with people. I think of all of the cool events I've had the opportunity to be a part of and I didn't attend in costume. I don't want to have any more regrets. While my work schedule isn't letting up any time soon, I am working towards making better choices with my time. Being present in what I'm doing instead of worrying about work. I have to plan to fit in costume building time. Just to build. Just to enjoy the process. Eventually I'll have something done. I cannot afford to leave anything until the last minute as those last minutes are always swallowed by something I didn't plan for. I have to learn how to see projects in small bites instead of focusing on having the time to do the whole thing.
So.....hi! I'm here. I miss my time here. I miss costuming. I want to build. I'd love to carve out little bits of time with some of you. Nothing formal. Certainly nothing I'll be able to schedule more than a week or two out. Maybe a video chat of some kind where people put aside an hour or so of their time to work on something.....anything....with me?
