you're not the only one

[cheezeheadiii]

i'm sorry you're having to go through all that LeadingSpartan, though i dont know what you're going through, and Christi, it's cool that you want to go help those kids even though it has obviously inconvenienced you quite a bit, but i'm going through a lot of serious **** right now as well

what's basically happening...:

-my 360 broke due to what may very well be the new RRoD
-it broke right before thanksgiving break so that's 5 days of having nothing to do
-it took a full week for my box to send it to microsoft in to arrive
-although they said i'd get it back in 3-5 weeks, i doubt it due to the box's late arrival, meaning i probly won't be getting it back in time for christmas, so anything i get for my 360 i won't even be able to use for probly a week or so
-i'm failing two classes (not so hard to do since i'm in all honors); one because i forgot to make up a big test in English (that i probly would've gotten an A on) that was taken when i was absent one day, and geometry because i forgot to get a Unit Test (counts more than anything except for the semester exams) signed by parents and brought in so the 88 i got on it got turned into a zero, and a zero homework grade for the same thing
-my crazy ex-girlfriend got a myspace and has tried becoming my friend and talking to me and whatnot (though i havent replied yet)
-i still miss this great girl i met over a year ago (july '06). shortly after we met she failed to show up on our first date b/c the movie tickets were sold out when she got there and i wasnt there to answer her calls due to my mom's stupidity. then 9 months later (march '07) she finally decided to call me again. we saw a few movies together and made out during them and stuff then, about a month and a half after she called again, a lock-in thing at her friend's church (late may '07), and i havent heard anything from her since. she just stopped trying to contact me for no apparent reason AGAIN, and i've never been the same since....
-and my social life just sucks

and all that's just the basics, my life has sucked extremely hard for the past 3 years, and it just keeps getting worse and worse. (for the full story check my myspace blogs, very sad)

i could really use any help or advice anyone can offer

 

[Leadingspartan]

Heres what ive been going through.

-My best Friend and the only person who understands me has moved away.
-My Xbox 360 had red lights and it only works now and then.
-My girlfriend broke up with me.
-My mom is pissing me off.
-My dad died in iraq over a year ago im still sad.
-Everyone hates me at my school=[
-I have no more friends now mine moved away
-My brother keeps pissing me off.
-I have a D- in advanced math
-My Halo 2 disc cracked.
-Everyone calls me a nerd.
-My girlfriend is rubbing her boyfriend in my face.
- All my teachers hate me uncept my electives.
Plus im going through a sad depression of how much of an a whole my step dad is.
I'm Starting to hate life with the biggest reason, no i will not say it.

 

[DKK]

im failing physics and math but oh well i can get math up to a pass
my socials teacher is probably the stupedist person ever and she lost four of my assignments and i came down from 86 to 62 which is not to fun considering i already am failing 2 courses. both my grandpas died this summer. and i just made my noodles too spicy .

 

[Tropicana]

My girlfriend is rubbing her boyfriend in my face.

Wait, what?


-My teachers are literally abusing me. And getting away with it.
-My parents are severely pissing me off. Saying they're going to throw out all my progress.
-The main group I hang out with split and no-one really talks to each other much.
-I have no job, and no-one will hire me.
-Rumors are going around that I was loaded drunk and phoning some guys house over and over looking for my GF.
-Another rumor going around that I went to a club underaged. And my mom believes it.
-My christmas is basically ruined because of above rumors and teachers abusing me, which causes me to skip off

Yeah..not as bad as some of you guys, but it's pretty far up there :/

 

[abandonship]

since when did this forum turn into a pity party? its ok for you guys to post things like this, and usually it helps, but trying to compete with eachother over who has it worse is just stupid and that is what it looks like you guys are doing right now. We've all had some crazy and stupid stuff happen to us, and im sure everyone gets depressed sometimes but playing the pity game wont help anyone. On a lighter note, i hope you guys feel better and ill pray for you.

 

[cheezeheadiii]

since when did this forum turn into a pity party? its ok for you guys to post things like this, and usually it helps, but trying to compete with eachother over who has it worse is just stupid and that is what it looks like you guys are doing right now. We've all had some crazy and stupid stuff happen to us, and im sure everyone gets depressed sometimes but playing the pity game wont help anyone. On a lighter note, i hope you guys feel better and ill pray for you.

that is not what i intended at all, i simply want some help, support, and advice on what i should do to change what is going on in my life, i was just working on another reply not meant to be part of any "pity game," i'm just trying to empathise with what they are going through and add to what i am, i dont want this to be what you have perceived it as

 

[NuggetWarmer]

Edit: Deleted because I feel like it.

 

[abandonship]

i know thats not what your trying to do cheeze, but it just looks like it. If it does turn into that, some feelings may get hurt and that would be bad because we all love eachother.

 

[Pillow Pounder]

I feels ya bro!

-My girlfriend is now going out with a crackhead rapist
-My favorite teacher just left to become a nun (WTF?!)
-My social life somewhat sucks balls too
-Failing Religion class, with the wicked witch of the west as a teacher
-Failing to produce my many ideas of Machinima
-My comic is going downhill
-My uncle is going to give his phone that I really like to my sister who has a gayass Razr with a Sidekick 3!
-The cat that gave me faith ran away....
-And some other things I can't really things I can't remember

 

[Pillow Pounder]

I feels ya bro!

-My girlfriend is now going out with a crackhead rapist
-My favorite teacher just left to become a nun (WTF?!)
-My social life somewhat sucks balls too
-Failing Religion class, with the wicked witch of the west as a teacher
-Failing to produce my many ideas of Machinima
-My comic is going downhill
-My uncle is going to give his phone that I really like to my sister who has a gayass Razr with a Sidekick 3!
-The cat that gave me faith ran away....
-And some other things I can't really things I can't remember

 

[m19sssm]

im very sorry to hear about all this sadness, but things could be worse...

my suicide thearapy doesnt work
my dad is trying to get my mom to disown me to my grandparents in the netherlands
nicole is still gone (R.I.P 10/3/07)
i only have three friends right now, and one of them is on here, so only two in real life
my grandma that lives with my family has recently just become ill with M.R.S.A.
and my turtle is the only one that listens to me

i not trying to top anyone, im only saying that you should be thankful for what you have, no matter how small. im learning this the hard way

 

[cheezeheadiii]

-all my great-grandparents have died in the past six months (most ppl in my family had their kids pretty early)
-my geometry teacher is a dumb bitch, and when i told my dad the reason i have a 25 in that class is b/c she turned my 88 or whatever (i really dont remember) to a zero, he said that "that's ********!" (and he only swears when he's truly pissed)
-girls practically never talk to me
-what happened with the girl i really liked that stopped calling me for no reason (twice) kept me in a deep depression that lasted from the time i first met her to the month of happiness when she called me again, and since her second breaking of communication with me, i've been the lowest i've ever been (and believe me, that's saying a lot) she's both the best and the thing that's ever happened to me....
-my church's pastor and my psychiatrist have told me that the reason the two above things are so important to me is because of the terrible relationship i have with my mom (and pretty much my entire family), causing a strong desire in me to love and be loved by another woman to fill the void made my own mother could not, and i desperately want to find someone for that, but it seems like it's never going to happen
-almost all my old friends have also moved on to new ones and forgotten about me
-the only two friends i had that came over to my house have stopped ever since my 360 broke, so even they were apparently just using me to play halo 3
-whenever i try talking to people and making new friends, they always make it obvious that they dont want to have anything to do with me, either ignoring me completely or saying something to which there is no reply to end the conversation
-i never have anything to do because i don't have cable, so no tv, i dont have my own pc, so not much internet time, and what friends i still have never want to do anything

although there is enough bad going on in my life to cause me to be completely miserable, i must also acknowledge what good there is that i should be thankful for
-i dont know why, but most of my teachers seem to like me ok (some of my teachers and the principal say that i'm probably "the brightest indivdual in the school," despite the fact that i'm still a freshman), although i really could care less what they think about me, i'm not some kiss-ass suck-up like some people i know
-although my 360 broke and probably won't come back until after christmas, I, unlike most others with the "new RRoD," my 1-year warranty is still in effect, so i won't have to pay $100 to get my console fixed
-i'm not hated by everyone in my school like LeadingSpartan (sorry 'bout that btw), it's just nobody cares about me enough to hate me

now i know all of this stuff probably woudn't mean much to some people; but to me, it's enough for me to hate my life and want to kill myself (i never would, but i still want to)

especially the thing with the girlfriend; when i first met her, it was at summer school about a month and a half after i ended my first and longest relationship (my first gf i went out with from the end of 6th to the end of 7th grade, a full year), and the short period of support i got from her really helped with it; but when i realized that i would probably never hear from her again, things just went downhill from there. but when she just decided to call me again, out of the blue, 9 months later, i had never been happier. that month and a half that i was finally able to see her again, i was the happiest i had ever been in my entire life. and then, just like the time before, she just decided to stop calling me again, having it happen a second time was almost too much for me. i started to keep myself in my room all day just playing my 360, having next to no contact with my friends and my family. and now, the pain that i went through shows physically. people are always saying how pale and bony i am and calling me emo just because i wear black a lot, and i am physically weaker and out of shape than i have ever been. i had next to no exercise or exposure to the sun that entire summer, i didn't even go to the beach, a waterpark, or anywhere like that, for the first time in my life, that entire summer. and now, right before christmas, things just keep getting worse and worse (most wonderful time of the year my ass). and because of all that has happened to me, i am never as outgoing as i used to be and i have a really hard time talking myself into talking to a girl because i'm afraid that i'll have to go to the same things all over again, and i would not be able to handle that.

that's all i can think of saying at the moment, sorry for the incredible length and repetitiveness of these posts, i just have a lot to say, and no one to say it to......

 

[m19sssm]

at least the girl you had might call you again...

 

[cheezeheadiii]

at least the girl you had might call you again...

and what if she did? what would happen then? i don't know if i want to risk going through all that a third time. also, even though i have never met anyone that i think would be better for me (she was just so perfect...) we didn't live very close together (though i never had time to learn exactly where she lived), we didn't go to the same school, so we didn't get to see eachother very often. i want a girl who goes to the same school as me so i can see and spend time with her every day, one that i can talk to even when she's not physically there, over the phone or IM or something, one that i can get to know enough to and have the time to tell that i love her, i never had any of that with the others, that is all i want, is that too much to ask for?

 

[m19sssm]

why dont you call her

 

[cheezeheadiii]

why dont you call her

that's one of the things i didn't put in any of these. another thing we had in common was that we both hated our lives; but, from what i can tell, she had it worse off than i. her dad was a really smart professor who taught at some university, until he became a drug addict.... now he's in prison for i'm not sure what... i'd never been to her house, but from what she and her mom said, i'm not sure if i'd want to; she didn't have AC (and this was right when summer was starting), her mom had to sell her laptop to pay mortgage, so no internet, she didn't even have a home phone, and certainly not a cell; i relied on her to contact me when she could. i was going to get her address next time i saw her so i could at least send her letters since i had no other way to contact her. unfortunately, i never got to ask... and here i am now, and i can't stop wondering what happened that caused her to not contact me again. the first time wasn't as bad, we barely knew eachother then. but this time, after all we did together, she did it again, and i dont know if there is actually some crazy reason that she had absolutely no way of contacting me (unlikely, but it is possible), or if, for some reason, she never wanted to see me again; and i may never know because she never said anything, and that uncertainty of what she did and for what reason is what hurts me the most. another possibility that i cannot stop thinking of, is that something terrible happened to her; for all i know she was killed or killed in a car crash or something and i cant get that feeling out of my head and it's driving me insane. all i want to know is what happened and why, the fact that i don't is what tears me apart more than anything else....

 

[m19sssm]

all i can say is that if she was so perfect, then you should go find her. do you know what shcool she went to?

 

[Doom]

Well, if it makes you feel any better, a Moderator isn't always perfect either .

-Have A's in all classes but a C in Language Arts :/ .
-Girls don't seem to talk to me much but they do occasionaly which is pretty nice .
-People tend to call me Emo for my hair(Wtf?), I'll have to get a picture for you guys before I get it cut(Har har ).
-I live in the middle of a desert .

Otherwise life is good .

-Doom

 

[rvb4life]

hey... you should be glad that girls actually WANT to be around you......

i seem to be horrible at picking up girls......ugh...the pressure.

Yeah....Sorry to hear all of this....

you still are alive! thats all that matters.

 

[sk8er4life]

but your a mod so that must be fun.