Funny way of looking at things

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Adam

Community Founder
1 - Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.

2 - Half the people you know are below average.

3 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

4 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

5 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

6 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

7 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. :unsure:

8 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

9 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. :lol:

10 - When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

11 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

12 - Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

13 - I intend to live forever……so far, so good.

14 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

15 - If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. :cautious:

16 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

17 - Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it. :not worthy:

18 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

19 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
 

AoBfrost

Well-Known Member
I cant believe this statistics, because some guy told me 82.7% of all are made up. I can believe him because he surley didnt make it up.

Actually I am having a hard time believe this, it's a puzzle....

Adam said:
1 - Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.
Meh give it back to them and they wont be so pessimistic
2 - Half the people you know are below average.
True
3 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Most just want a client who can fill their wallet
4 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
This might actually be true
5 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
...
6 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
I have a clear conscience, but just because I cant remember what I ddi 5 minutes go doesnt mean I have bad memory
7 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. :unsure:
True, I may not have waken up at 6am on black friday, but by golly I got all the deals online for the same price as waking up like those campers did outside of best buy. all i had to do was click my mouse at 10am
8 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
how could I completley have overlooked this
9 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. :lol:
Usually depressed people are depressed.....meaning upset/saddend.
10 - When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Ya usually it doesnt end well
11 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Some of us are too lazy to do nothing.
12 - Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
laziness pays off now, but by then when I have to work hard, I'll be lazy to work.
13 - I intend to live forever……so far, so good.
Most people do, but then notice after they turn 40, they change their mind.
14 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
But into snake bellies.
15 - If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. :cautious:
Then all will think I did "first succeed"
16 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Yea, most books conclude this way, with a conclusion.
17 - Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it. :not worthy:
I'll learn to fly a jet plane if i had to in emergency without any experiance? hmmm
18 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
I blame secks.
19 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
meh
 
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23Magnum

Well-Known Member
O M G... :oops:

Adam, you should add this one...

Sarcasism is an artform. Some people get and others just don't.
 

Nicktendo

Well-Known Member
23Magnum said:
O M G... :oops:

Adam, you should add this one...

Sarcasism is an artform. Some people get and others just don't.
Haha, so true.

These are very George Carlin-esque. Although lots of those emails that go around claiming to be Carlin jokes really aren't, so who knows. Still funny!
 
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Vexona

Well-Known Member
thoroughly enjoyed this cynicism :)

good show.

7b - The early bird may get the worm, but the early worm gets eaten. :lol:
 
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