Nerds with Girls???

Hyokenseisou

Well-Known Member
*long post here*
Ok, so not to be a jerk, but I'm gonna counter your post, you know, from a GIRL'S point of view, and being a NERDY girl and all...

Your rule #1:
While I can agree with you it's not 'smart' to just jump in front of a good looking chick and be like "HEY LET'S GET MARRIED!" sort of thing, most girls DO like it when you're direct, after you're in a well established and steady relationship. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want me bf to be all "soo.. um... yeah... see that couple over there? Looks like they're married... and you know, I was kind of thinking... maybe we should too? I mean, we have a lot of things in common and we like each other so yeah, want to?"
Kind of extreme examples, but you get the idea.

Your rule #2:
Not always man.... My bf and I don't pick up a 'not geeky' magazine and read about world news every so often. Being 'up-to-date' with the world isn't a must. So long as your world isn't still stuck in the 80's, I'm sure you'll do fine. If I was single and on a date with some guy, I don't care to hear about how Justin Beaverwhatever slammed his head in a revolving door...
And as far as looks go, so long as your clothes aren't constantly filthy, your pants aren't tucked in your socks, your shirt tucked in your pants, and you don't have hair longer than the girl, generally you'll do fine. Afterall, how you dress is part of who you are.

Your rule #3:
FRACK no... Reading this 'rule' actually made me mad... BOYS! WE ARE NOT YOUR MOTHERS!! We don't want to have to TRY and teach you something you already know. We're not maids either. I can guarantee no girl wants to be picking up, dressing, feeding, etc after their bf. I know, I'm freaking in this boat, and it drives me insane. While once in a while is ok and cutesy whatever, doing it all the time, literally just turns us into your mother. DO NOT WANT! Follow this rule and make your gf iron your shirts and make you a sandwich while you play Halo, and you'll be single real damn quick. If your so called 'nerdy' gf doesn't want to be playing Halo WITH you, then you didn't pick a good one.
Personally, I'd MUCH rather be playing Halo than teaching my bf how to clean up after himself.
Girls are pretty good at finding something to do to keep us entertained; we don't need to have a relationship turn into a job.

Your rule #4:
This I agree with pretty much 100%. Not much to add than what has already been said. Us girls love confident men, whether that confidence is being nerdy or not. It shows us that you're capable when you take pride in what you do and more importantly, who you are.

Your rule #5:
Pretty much yeah.
While you might find your ideal girl, there's so many factors that need to be met on a natural level. And if it doesn't work out, it's not necessarily your fault either. There's things like personality, interaction, chemistry, etc need to be taken into consideration.
And I wouldn't necessarily say our hearts have this thick iron wall around it, so much as if you look at this from a basic animal level: females are naturally attracted and drawn to males who they feel is 'pick of the litter'. It's basic animal instinct to pick out a suitable mate to ensure the survival of your bloodline.
 
I don't think either is incredible... I think it's kind of sad. XD
Thank you! I knew I wasn't the only one thinking it!


What he said.
Guys who have trouble in the dating field, take note. Dsbass knows what he is talking about. I can vouch for basically everything he said and I strongly recommend that you take it to heart. Of course, there are a lot of other ins and outs and nuances that you will have to learn when you interact with the other sex, but this is a good starting place.

I would also add a few general rules to this list for those that are feeling ambitious.

Rule #6 - Learn to be a little emotional.
For the most part, women think with their hearts and men think with their minds. I truly believe that both ways are wrong and that a fine balance must be found by both sexes. That being said, guys, you are going to need to show a little emotion. Watch a few chick flicks. Learn to appreciate them. You don't have to enjoy them per se, but you should enjoy the time being spent with her and making her happy. Don't be gay (that'll be a turnoff to any decent girl), but don't be hard and emotionless either. Tell her how you feel. If you are hurt, let her know. If you are thrilled, same thing. If you love her (make sure you do before you do this), let her know ALL THE TIME. I would say that saying it daily in not enough. Tell her often about how she steals your breath when she walks in the room. Be spontaneous and romantic about it. Many girls, if not most, identify themselves by the mate that they choose. I can't tell you that I fully understand what is going on their heads, but I will tell you that it will thrill them to know how much they thrill you.

Rule #7 - Compliment her LOTS!
Girls can feel very insecure and will always appreciate any compliments you give her. If you are taking her on a date and waiting for her to get ready, and she walks downstairs decked out in a gorgeous dress and her hair and makeup are beautifully done, LET HER KNOW THAT YOU LIKE IT! She did it for you, not because she enjoys meticulously preparing for hours! Let her know how beautiful she is and tell her often throughout the night. Don't just do it on her looks. If she has a good idea, compliment her! If she performs well at something, compliment her. Your compliments will give her confidence and she will like you even more for them.

Rule #7 - Learn how to have a damned conversation.
I really like Dsbass's rule #2. You need to be able to hold conversation and you need to be able to do it about things that matter (Sorry guys, Halo really does not matter). Watch Fox News. Learn about what is going on with the world. Do a little research and educate yourself. I promise you, if she has any substance to her, you will impress her. Guys, she is going to want to talk to you about EVERYTHING. If you don't know how to do it back, you are going to be miserable. Take a speech class. Start piping up during the debates in your history class. This is a foot stomper!

Rule #8 - Guys, this one is a little difficult to grasp. You need to protect her. I know that sounds simple, but just you wait. I don't mean protect her physically (although I beg you to learn how to do so with both fists and firearms). You have to protect her financially and emotionally. That is an all encompassing statement that deserves a book rather than a paragraph, but I will try to explain what I have figured out. Making sure that she will be financially cared for is a big one. She will actually physically hurt if you get married and you cannot provide for her. If you are about to be evicted and you can't pay to feed her and your children, she is not going to be very turned on by you. That leads to another one. Guys, learn how to deal with your damn finances. She should not have to balance the checkbook, and if she does, she will lose a VAST amount of respect for you. I'm not saying that she should not know how to because I believe that everyone should. I am saying that, when you make sure that the financial stuff is taken care of, she will feel protected and happy.

That brings us to protecting her emotionally. While the financial one is more applicable when you are married, this one is constant. One thing that will thrill a girl is that you will side with her whether she is right or wrong. Never take sides against her in any argument with a third party. If she is wrong in a situation, be classy and excuse both of yourselves and then, while assuring her that you are on her side, let her know what she has done that was wrong and do it gently. If you side against her publicly, she will feel betrayed. Another situation to consider, girls have a weird telepathic way of communicating with each other that men are totally oblivious to. I am still learning about this, but imagine that you go to a party with your gal and some girls walk up. They are extremely nice to you and are laughing at your jokes and are having a good time. Suddenly, you notice that your girl is stiffening up and she is not having a good time, despite the setting of a few people talking and laughing. What you didn't know is that the reason those girls came up to you and are being so charming is that they are trying to hurt your girl. They are trying to rob your attention away from her and onto themselves. I can't exactly tell you why they would do that, but I know from talking to several girls that females can be especially nasty and cruel and they will be very underhanded about it... like hurting your girl by stealing your attention from her. I would suggest that if you ever find yourself in that situation, put your arm around her and hold her close. Pay attention to her. If the catty girls ask you a question, answer and then turn to your girl and ask her what she thinks. Make it obvious to everyone in the room that you are more interested in what she has to say than you are in what they have to say. In lulls in the conversation, draw her close, tell her that you love her and plant a kiss right on her lips in front of everyone. You have no idea how much that will thrill her.

Rule #8 - You Don't Want Them All!
This is an extension of #5. Dr. Laura Schlessinger came out with a book called 10 Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives. I recommend it for everyone, but there is a chapter in it called Stupid Chivalry. Guys, let me start this by saying that I am a huge believer in Chivalry and I constantly try to uphold its standards in my life. That being said, stupid chivalry is bad. When she says that, she is talking about the phenomenon when a guy finds a girl that he likes that is weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc. and thinks that he can save her and ultimately transform her through their love. Sorry guys, it does not work like that. Not only will you fail to save her, but she will make you extremely unhappy and will actually bring you down in whatever area she is lacking. If you see a girl who is one of the above, please move on. She will need to deal with those issues herself before she enters any meaningful relationship.

That is all that I have for now. Guys, if you get nothing else from this, remember just one thing. Girls are different from us. They do not think like us and they do not feel like us. Don't make the mistake of thinking that they do. There will be times that you will think that your girl is on drugs (she technically is as her body is pumping more drugs through her veins than a meth addict). It's okay and it will pass. The only thing that we can do is forgive them and try to learn.

Girls, please feel free to jump in and correct or add to anything I or Dsbass has said. I would love to hear your opinions and your thoughts.

Your rule #3:
FRACK no... Reading this 'rule' actually made me mad... BOYS! WE ARE NOT YOUR MOTHERS!! We don't want to have to TRY and teach you something you already know. We're not maids either. I can guarantee no girl wants to be picking up, dressing, feeding, etc after their bf. I know, I'm freaking in this boat, and it drives me insane. While once in a while is ok and cutesy whatever, doing it all the time, literally just turns us into your mother. DO NOT WANT! Follow this rule and make your gf iron your shirts and make you a sandwich while you play Halo, and you'll be single real damn quick. If your so called 'nerdy' gf doesn't want to be playing Halo WITH you, then you didn't pick a good one.
Personally, I'd MUCH rather be playing Halo than teaching my bf how to clean up after himself.
Girls are pretty good at finding something to do to keep us entertained; we don't need to have a relationship turn into a job.
This was posted while I was typing, so I didn't have a chance to read it before I posted. I definitely agree that guys need to clean up their crap and need to know how to take care of themselves. Really, Hyoken is right when she says that your partner is not your mother! But I think that the point that DSbass was making was not to turn your gf into a maid, but to let her teach you things that you do not know, such as ironing a wrinkle out, so that YOU can do it in the future, not her. To be honest, I think any self respecting guy should know how to iron their shirt in the first place, but I think that the point, that girls want to improve the good qualities in their men, is the same. Would you agree with that?
 

Hyokenseisou

Well-Known Member
Guess this means I'm screwed :p unless I get some scissors and...CHOP!
Personally, I think guys with long hair is gross.... There have only been a couple guys I know that can pull off the long hair look and look good with it! But 99% of the time, guys with long hair, it's all greasy and doesn't suit their looks... Grease = Not appealing...
 
Personally, I think guys with long hair is gross.... There have only been a couple guys I know that can pull off the long hair look and look good with it! But 99% of the time, guys with long hair, it's all greasy and doesn't suit their looks... Grease = Not appealing...
You have good taste. Listen to her, guys!
 

ForgedReclaimer

Well-Known Member
Guess this means I'm screwed :p unless I get some scissors and...CHOP!

I'm in the same problem i guess, i did cut it shoulder length but that's only because i got mistaken for a girl from behind 3 times. After the third time i was in for a hair cut in less than 20 minutes.

This was posted while I was typing, so I didn't have a chance to read it before I posted. I definitely agree that guys need to clean up their crap and need to know how to take care of themselves. Really, Hyoken is right when she says that your partner is not your mother! But I think that the point that DSbass was making was not to turn your gf into a maid, but to let her teach you things that you do not know, such as ironing a wrinkle out, so that YOU can do it in the future, not her. To be honest, I think any self respecting guy should know how to iron their shirt in the first place, but I think that the point, that girls want to improve the good qualities in their men, is the same. Would you agree with that?
That's very important, a relationship is give and take, not take.
 

SchizophrenicMC

Well-Known Member
I'm not sure what's worse, Templar. The fact that the Pony thread is full of your posts, or the fact that the FOREVER ALONE thread is full of them.

But, anyway, all I caught from all that tl;dr is Hyoken doesn't like Pony's hair, but come on. I had long hair, once. Long hair does not equate to bad, greasy hair. I'll have you know my hair was nicer than my then-girlfriend's. Nice, thick, soft. Only reason I cut it is because I, personally, look better with short hair. It's all about maintenance. You can't just HAVE something. You have to keep it maintained. Be it your hair, your car, your beard, your armor, your cell phone, your relationship. You have to constantly work to keep it working right. I think long hair is great on a guy, if he takes care of it. And I think a beard is the best thing a man can have, if he takes care of it.

But yeah, the point is, keep your wits about you. That's what makes us human, and it's arguably the most attractive thing about a person. Be smart, be funny, be engaging, and for god's sake, be charismatic and confident. (but in the words of Han Solo, "Great, kid, don't get cocky!") That all won't just help you with women, it'll help you with life. Everyone likes those qualities.
 

dsbass09

Jr Member
Ok so I didn't mean to say that girls should be your mother. I just meant it doesn't matter if you're perfect. Girls will help you fix whatever problems you might have as long as you don't make them a huge issue. I also meant to say not to be embarrassed by things like that. If a girl says something about the (I'm just using this example again) wrinkle on your shirt, hair in the sink, etc. don't let it bother you. Just fix it or let her show you how to fix it and move on. The worst thing to do is make it a huge deal or think that it means she doesn't like you.
 

Hyokenseisou

Well-Known Member
Ok so I didn't mean to say that girls should be your mother. I just meant it doesn't matter if you're perfect. Girls will help you fix whatever problems you might have as long as you don't make them a huge issue. I also meant to say not to be embarrassed by things like that. If a girl says something about the (I'm just using this example again) wrinkle on your shirt, hair in the sink, etc. don't let it bother you. Just fix it or let her show you how to fix it and move on. The worst thing to do is make it a huge deal or think that it means she doesn't like you.
I bolded and upped the size of the main word in this post.... HELP.

Men, there is a clear difference between "HELP YOU", and "DO IT FOR YOU" and also "EXPECTED TO DO IT WITHOUT BEING TOLD".

Just saying.


On the topic of mothers and having them do things for you...
Guys who are still living at home with mommy yet should be living on their own, if you're not doing this already: Do your mom a favor and clean up after yourself... Show responsibility.
 

dsbass09

Jr Member
I bolded and upped the size of the main word in this post.... HELP.

Men, there is a clear difference between "HELP YOU", and "DO IT FOR YOU" and also "EXPECTED TO DO IT WITHOUT BEING TOLD".

Just saying.


On the topic of mothers and having them do things for you...
Guys who are still living at home with mommy yet should be living on their own, if you're not doing this already: Do your mom a favor and clean up after yourself... Show responsibility.

That's exactly what I meant the first time. Sorry if it came out wrong. I do live on my own and my place is far nicer and cleaner than my other friends place because I live by what you said. There's no reason you can't clean up after yourself. If you take 5 minutes every day to either clean up your house or clean yourself up, you'll see a major difference in both your confidence and your relations with other people.
 

Kyre

Member
she is talking about the phenomenon when a guy finds a girl that he likes that is weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc. and thinks that he can save her and ultimately transform her through their love. Sorry guys, it does not work like that.
Hey, I somewhat resent this statement, or at least how it sounds in my head. My girl is 'damaged', her father beat her repeatedly when she was young and raped her twice. I don't think I can save her, per se, but I do believe I can be here for here while she strengthens herself, and that I can help her do that. Until a year and a half ago, we were just close friends, and I asked her out because she is an amazing person in spite of her past.
 
Hey, I somewhat resent this statement, or at least how it sounds in my head. My girl is 'damaged', her father beat her repeatedly when she was young and raped her twice. I don't think I can save her, per se, but I do believe I can be here for here while she strengthens herself, and that I can help her do that. Until a year and a half ago, we were just close friends, and I asked her out because she is an amazing person in spite of her past.
No offense intended, my friend, and please extend my sincerest condolences to your girlfriend. I honestly don't think there is anything that a man can do that is worse than rape and I am very happy that you are there to help her through it. But it sounds like she has some inner strength to me and that she was dealing with the emotional trauma before you asked her out. That is absolutely wonderful, as it shows that she has the will and strength to see herself healed.

Please, let me give an example about what I meant. There is an acquaintance of mine who is basically a good guy. He has always wanted to fight for good and has always had a heart for people in need. There was a girl that he liked that was being physically abused by her boyfriend, and badly. Since he really liked her (to be quite honest, it was more of an infatuation than anything), he went in and kicked the bastard's ass. He saved her and he and the girl quickly entered into a relationship with each other. Of course, she was terribly damaged and there were a lot of issues that he had to deal with. Sadly, she did not have any inner strength to deal with the issues, so they remained unchanged and he was terribly hurt because, not only was she not willing to work to heal the wounds, but he was always left trying to comfort her and pick up the pieces when she broke down. This went on for several years and she never healed and he never was happy. Finally, unable to take the heartbreak anymore, he left her. Within a month, she was with the same type of douchebag guy that had been beating her before my friend came in. And the saddest part is that I think he came out of the relationship worse than he went in. The fire in his eyes that had been so devoted to helping people in need is gone and I can only pray that it finds a way back.

There is a difference between this girl and your girlfriend. Your girlfriend was an amazing person BEFORE you started dating her and she was trying to work through her issues BEFORE you started dating her. That means that she has the strength and the will to pull through. Now, with you by her side, that healing can come even more quickly. This girl that my friend was with did not have the strength to pull through and she never was going to, with or without his help. Its not that she was a bad person, she just wasn't the person that was going to bring my friend happiness.

Please know that I sincerely hope that you and your girlfriend find happiness. I know that situation can be tough and I am extremely happy that your girlfriend will have a decent guy to rely on when she is hurting. There is a verse in the Bible that I really like and I think it is more of a natural law than anything else, but the verse basically states that "..one (could) chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight." I think that this can apply to a lot of things and I especially think that it can apply to relationships. I believe that there is strength to be found in our personal relationships and that it multiplies exponentially when we are with the right person! My point, and I do not mean to preach, is that she had the strength to work through her stuff on her own. Now, with you, you both can overcome it together so much more easily and I think that is an incredible thing!
 

SchizophrenicMC

Well-Known Member
Okay, uh, serious thread just got serious. I blame Canada.

And Templar, no offense, but I wouldn't call these threads sad when you've a high number of posts in both of them ;P

Anyway, to sum everything up in simple terms: relationships are for you to be there for each other. Like best friends, but the sex is far less awkward.
 

Tyvern

Well-Known Member
Let's not start a two way Flame war.....IDK bout' you guys but I'd rather you take it to somewhere else before you get "started up".

Keep It Clean and nobody should be getting PFWD syndrome...

on a lighter note....

Keep the happiness going and you shall be rewarded, don't and your plans will bite you in the ***, treat her well and the relationship will hopefully prosper.......knowledge my mother told me.
 

SchizophrenicMC

Well-Known Member
Are you saying that they're happy? Seriously, I have no idea what you are trying to imply.
I'm just saying the threads are what they are, and that is, a collection of people and their varying comments and opinions on a particular subject or subjects.

Anyway, -blam!- -blam!-es, get money.
 
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