Why MC hates Arbiter

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Well, it's a long story, but here we go.

When Little Johnny Spartan was first going to kindergarten, he had no friends. He sat alone on the playground and he was scared. He was just sitting there, staring at the dirt when Little Elite Arbiter General of the Covenant Forces asked Johnny if he could sit with him. Johnny was scared, but he said okay. Little Eli (arbiter) had an extra cookie in his lunch today, because his mommy wanted him to enjoy his first day of school. He offered it to Johnny. Johnny said thanks and ate the cookie with Eli. Soon the two became very good friends and spent all their time together.

Years later Little Johnny and Little Eli enter their final year in High School. They are still the closest of friends until a new girl showed up at school. Her name is Cortana. Cortana is very pretty and both Johnny (now John) and Eli (still Eli) are both smitten. John thinks he has the natural shot with her becaue they're both human. (This is way before Cortana died in a drunken sorority car accident in college and her brain was salvaged to be put into the AI of Spartan Warriors). But Cortana was more interested in Eli and started hanging out with him. Soon they started dating and poor Johnny had to spend a lot of time alone. No Eli to hang out with, and Cortana wouldn't even talk to John. So the lifelong friendship between John and Eli started to fade away, like the sting of a needler.

Eli and Cortana had broken up just before senior prom, and John thought he could use this chance to get to know Cortana and maybe take her to the prom. One day at lunch, John got the nerve to go over to Cortana's table and talk to her. As he sat down, Eli came over and pushed John's face into the mashed potatoes. John got very angry and pushed Eli. Eli then pushed back, and since he was bigger and stronger than John, John ended up wearing a lot of mac & cheese, rice pudding, and chocolate milk. John got very angry with Eli and swore that if he would destroy Eli if Eli ever crossed his path again. The next day Eli crossed John's path, but John pretended that his shoe was untied and then pretended to tie and and therefore not notice that Eli had just crossed his path. This went on for about two more months until graduation.

On Graduation Day, John was very excited. He was graduating with Honors and was bound for the UNSC Academy. Things were looking pretty good. That is until Eli gave John a wedgie when they were getting their diplomas. John's head nearly burst in anger.

And that is why Master Chief hates Arbiter so much.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that the accident that killed Cortana also mortally wounded John. After high school, John and Cortana started dating, because Cortana saw that John really wasn't a loser and would probably make a lot of money after he was done with his tour with the UNSC. John was driving and Cortana was with him. Cortana leaned over to kiss John, but as she did a car full of drunken sorority girls hit them head on. So don't drink and drive, because the life you save may be Master Chief and Cortana's.

Eli came to the hospital to visit John because he felt bad that their friendship went down the crapper. But John was in a coma and couldn't respond. That's not entirely true, John did respond to Eli's voice after a few minutes. John gave Eli the finger. John never remembered that incident and therefore never forgave Eli for being such a jerk. Next thing you know, John's putting a pistol down Eli's throat. Then they go off on brand new adventures.


even shoter still, "his people helped slaughter humanity" enough reason why not to trust elites but hey wactha gonna dooo? =]

i thought this comic strip goes well with my theory =]


Well-Known Member
he has been doin that a lot lately......im getting annoyed. :cautious:

anyway, this is a good way to break up the day....flaming at evil noobs.
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